Today I am taking that step.
I believe that life is a spiritual journey. While I have been on that journey for 29 years, my public profession of faith did not occur until the spring of 2004 when I was baptized- March 20, 2005 to be exact. As I come upon the anniversary of that event, my observation is that I have noticed very little in the way of spiritual development in the last year. Certainly, I have gained a tremendous amount of intellectual knowledge about Christianity. However, looking at my life, I have seen only miniscule growth in the areas of faith, love, and discipleship. I have to wonder why that is.
I think I know.
In Romans 6:12-14, Paul says:
Do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
At first glance I might be inclined to dismiss this passage as having any relevance to me. I haven't killed anyone. I don't sleep around. I don't do drugs, or drink so much that I am falling down drunk. All this might lead me to conclude that I am basically a good person...
A few weeks ago I read a post on someone's blog regarding a woman who used to be a prostitute and adult film actress. The woman has since turned her life around and is actively involved in ministering to young women from similar backgrounds. The author of the post was very critical of the media attention and accolades this woman had been receiving, wondering why those of us who "get it right most of the time" hardly ever get any credit. This led me to think about what "getting it right most of the time" really means. Do I get it right most of the time? Just because I have never been a drug addict or a porn star, does that somehow make me better than someone else? I don't think so. If anything, I think that the sanctification process is often easier for people who have committed grave sin than it is for those of us who "get it right most of the time." Professing Christians know that "big" sins like, Adultery, Murder, Stealing, etc... are wrong and must be dealt with. But, what about those little things like, pride, envy, jealousy, and gossip?
I have an eating disorder.
So what? So do thousands of other Americans, you might say. But it is a big deal. Anorexia, Bulima, and Compulsive Overreating are definite signals that something is adrift in the areas of moderation and self-control.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 states:
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Although this passage primarily refers to sexual immorality, it is clear that any sin against the body dishonors and grieves the holy spirit.
2 Peter 1:5-9 refers to the importance of self-control:
Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
Similarly 1 Peter 5:8 warns us to be "self-controlled and alert" because, our enemy satan, "prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."
If self-control is a fruit of the spirit, why don't I have it in certain areas of my life? Could it be that I have not been willing to look at the underlying reasons for my eating disorder? Someone once said, "you cannot fix what you will not face." It is often easier to live with a problem than to explore the solution.
Ultimately, I must admit that my unwillingness and inablity to trust God to heal my past hurts and restore my mind is sin of the most serious variety. In Luke 18, Jesus asks a very troubling question: "When the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?" Ridiculous? Not really. We believe in God. But, as Beth Moore asks, "Do we believe God?"
In my next post I am going to discuss faith and list some positive affirmations that I found in Neil Anderson's "The Bondage Breaker" as well as some that I have come up with myself. God may not be the genie in a bottle of the WoF variety, but I also don't believe that He intends us to live in bondage to strongholds that impede our faith and cause us to live as less than who we are in Christ.
